My first day as Friar Mark

My haircut looks absolutely, unabashedly, turtle-on-its-back, pants-tucked-into-underwear ridiculous, and I love it so much. I knew that it would make other people laugh, and considering the stress level on campus right now, we need some laughs (it’s week-before-finals Week). What I didn’t anticipate was how much I would laugh at myself, and how much I would appreciate my haircut for that. As I walked down Speedway to and from class, I alternated between normal, hat-wearing Mark, and what happened to his head he looks like a Friar, Mark. The second Mark made people literally snort with laughter and then avert their eyes, cause ya, I didn’t see that. The second Mark also made me smile at myself I looked at reflective window, bathroom mirror, or glistening computer screen. I love it!

But, we kill the things we love. I love laughing at myself, BUT I HATE LAUGHING AT MYSELF. Can you imagine looking such a way that you chuckle at yourself every time you see your reflection? It is, more than anything, an erosion of my confidence. If I can’t look at myself and have Jersey Shore levels of pride, then what do I have going for me? There is vanity, and then there is confidence, and I need one of them to get through the day (oh it’s confidence I need?). I need both to get me through the day.

So, I plan on keeping Friar Mark alive until Friday at six post meridian; or, at least, that is the minimum sentence of life Friar Mark will serve. What I fear/hope is that by the time of the eighteenth hour, I will have become accustomed to my odd appearance, and will be able to endure. I want my friends from other colleges, as well as my goofball brother, to be able to see me in person. So, if I can make it past Friday then I will do so, but I will make it till Friday.

I will finish this episode of my hair’s life with a “what I’ve learned” type of thing, but for now, I’ll just keep a running tally of the funny things that have happened to me while I look like I was dipped upside down into a vat of Nair.


1st place so far: Having my Bio TA compare me to the picture of Darwin, who was on our PowerPoint. Why Darwin? Because we were learning about SEXUAL SELECTION of course. Sexual selection is a corollary of natural selection that suggests that organisms choose mates not based on physical traits that show superiority, but attractive physical traits. Animals choose their sexual partners because they are attracted to them (think peacocks). And to top it all off, here I am, looking like the biggest idiot in the world as we talk about passing on the family name strictly on the basis of physical attraction.

It’s not looking good for future Stenbergs.


My first day as Friar Mark

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