Victoria Haas

I am super jealous of the guy with whom Victoria just went on a date. Not only because he is super strong and women love him, but also because he is a Norse-god. And imaginary. Victoria Haas just went on her first real date, but, sadly, it wasn’t with a real person :/

I told her that there is no shame in dating real humans, but she’s shy and afraid of talking to guys who exist outside of movies. She feels that real people are too hard to understand, and she figures why risk the letdown if happiness is only the cost of a movie ticket? She has, to date, spent over $370 dollars dating movie characters, but she’s happy, and that’s all that matters.

Victoria is one of the most eligible bachelorettes in the fake-dating-movie-character-relationship scene. She has been spotted with the Green Lantern, Green Lantern, the Hulk (she likes green superheros), and is now dating Thor. Does she realize what she is doing is wrong? Yes. Does love overcome all obstacles? Yes. So has Victoria continued her promiscuity with movie characters? Absolutely.

There will be an Intervention for Victoria at her house this Wednesday. Please, if you are concerned about Victoria or have realized she has a serious problem, please, please, come. She needs all the help she can get.

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Victoria Haas

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