The thing that you have probably noticed the most is the new blog format, but that was not a big event in my life. In fact, wordpress has such a limited and –in my opinion–unsatisfying selection of blog themes, I will probably keep changing my blog layout. Until I find one that I like enough to stick with, the only way to satiate my desire for satisfying blog backgrounds is by periodically changing mine.
A list of things that have kept me occupied since my last post: reading, fending off headaches and knee pain with Hydrochodone, rehabbing my knee, learning how to be an H.E.B. cashier, having meals with ex-girlfriends and family members, preparing for Fantasy Football, working at farmer’s markets and being hit on by old men, going to a good friend’s Rosary, talking with Hayleigh, writing letters, going to Lutheran/Methodist/Catholic church services, planning dinners, and getting ready for my last normal week of summer.
I plan on blogging about a few of the aforementioned activities individually, but I always feel like I need to ask for forgiveness when I haven’t blogged in a while, and the only thing that I can do that usually wipes my conscience clear is to convince you that I really have been busy and couldn’t blog. Which was true, this time.
One thing blogging does for me is that it holds me accountable to myself. I try to make the most out of everyday, even though the “most” changes depending on circumstances. I dislike “relaxing” unless I’m on vacation, because then it is what I’m supposed to be doing. By blogging, I make me accountable to myself by demanding that I do something “blog-worthy” every day. Some days are more interesting than others, and what I consider blog worthy you might not, but that’s not the point. The point is that by blogging I have found a way to make sure I do something interesting or take part in an experience every day– that I don’t let myself “waste ” a day, in my eyes.
The ironic thing is, the busier I get doing more blog-worth things, the less time and energy I have to blog. My surgery on Wednesday rendered me half-capable until Saturday morning, and while I didn’t blog about what I was doing because I had headaches and leg pain and nausea, it was certainly blog-worthy. So while I’m having all these funny, interesting experiences that would make great posts, I can’t write about them. Then, when I have all the time in the world to blog, I have the time because I’m not really doing anything. That is the paradox of my blog, to me. It’s not something I can fix, nor is it really a problem for me. As long as I’m doing something, then I’m pleased with myself. My blog keeps me doing stuff, but if I could manage to self-motivate with some reason other than fear of not having something to blog about, there is a good change I would delete my blog, or at least alter it. I’m really blessed to have a growing readership, and I am thankful for what you do for me when you view this website. I still want you to know though, if you ever really want to know what I’m thinking or doing, I would much rather grab some coffee or talk to you on the phone. Communication wise, the blog is a substitute for interaction; and while it’s good for many reasons to me, as a vehicle you can use to get to know me, I’d much rather just get to know you in person.