Roomate Profile #1: Michael Tyler

What is the one thing you have to do before you die?

  • See Kanye West live, because he puts on an amazing show. Over the top. Ridiculous.

When did we become friends?

  • Freshman year in college, we were going through hella problems. I actually don’t remember. I know that I always kind of knew you I guess, and we had dinner a few times, and we have similar humors. (and it escalated from there [gay laugh])

Tell me about something you really care about and why?

  • I really care about gender equality because we’re all in this together, Mark.

What is the greatest asset you are bringing to the HotSpot?

  • More Crocs. If I bought you some would you wear them? No way Jose? They’re so comfortable.

What is your greatest weakness?

  • My inability to express emotions without joking. Sometimes. In the appropriate times.

If you had to kill me, how would you do it?

  • Push you down the stairs. Tie your shoes together and push you down the stairs.

If you could live in any time period, which would it be and why?

  • 1990’s. 90’s swag is so much cooler than 2010 swage. 90’s swag is whatsup. We’re talking GAP, Boy Meets World, Keenan and Kel, blue jean jackets. Friends. I want to live like the Friend’s friends.

Favorite animal and why?

  • I’m not going to say dog. I won’t say dog. A moose. Because rarely do moosis, multiple moose? Meeses? Because rarely do people pick moosies as their favorite animal.

What is one quote you live your life by?

  • Either: “Blood in my eye, dog, and I can’t see.” Or: “Fuck bitches, get money.”

If your life was a movie, what movie would it be and why?

  • “The Help,” because I love a good drama.

If you could play any sport professionally, what would it be and why?

  • I would want to play soccer, because scoring a goal would be so satisfying. If you want to be the bee’s knees, play soccer. The whole world would worship you.

What is your trademark catchphrase?

  • (thinking…)This is hard. This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. That’s not my catchphrase.

What are three traits you look for in a woman?

  • DTFrolic, someone who can expressive themselves, I like a girl that can listen, brown hair and foreheads.

Who is a role model of yours and why?

  • My father is my role model. I feel like as a human he’s living the way I want to when I’m that old. He takes naps every day and he does anything he can to come home and kick it with my sister or eat with us; he values things like sleeping and eating which I couldn’t agree more with.

If you could go to any country, what country and why?

  • South Africa. I saw “Invictus” and ever since then I was like oh my gosh I want to go there so much.

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

  • More than likely married, I think that’s fair to say. Uhh, 29, I’m almost 30 years old. Let me think of where I would hope to be. I would hope to be married or dating in a badass city, hopefully finishing grad school, or done. And either working for an environmental company or in grad school, and I would like to live in a nice apartment in a cool city, you know, finishing things academically, and being fulfilled spiritually still. You know?

What do you think is the greatest invention in human history?

  • Like, I kinda wanna say the Itouch or Iphone cause you can use them while you poop. You can read things, talk to people. It’s better than a cell phone cause you can use news apps.

Who was your first crush?

  • Emiliy Rios, third grade. She goes to TCU now. Emily, if you’re reading this, please respond.

What would you do first with one billion dollars?

  • Hook my grandparents up, they’re getting really old and my grandma has Diabetes and she’s not taking care of it. I would take my family out the ghetto.

What are you most proud of in your life?

  • I’m pretty proud of my relationship with Hilary. Three years of dating AND WE STILL GOING STRONG.
Roomate Profile #1: Michael Tyler

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