I had an off-day today, but not “off” as in bad, “off” as in not “on.”
I didn’t have work, nor did I make plans to see anyone, go anywhere, or do anything I didn’t want to.
So, I baked my first goods of the New Year.
Why are they called “baked goods?” It seems cocky to me.
They could be bad.
Bagels are one of my favorite things to bake, because there’s very little baking.
You make the dough and let it rise, per usual, then shape it and let it rise, per usual.
The unusual part is that you boil the bagels.
Most bagels you find at the grocery store haven’t been boiled, just baked. Not boiling them changes the texture completely, making the bagels bready, instead of plump, very chewy, and crispy on the outside.
It’s a totally different product.
So, after they’re formed and risen, you boil them.
One minute for semi-chewy, two minutes for very chewy.
I boiled mine for three minutes.
I love masticating. Judge me.
I made four plain, four cinnamon-sugar, two minced onion, two minced garlic, two poppyseed, and two sesame seed.
I also made biscotti, too! Chocolate hazelnut biscotti.
I used half hazelnuts and half almonds because I’m racy and edgey and don’t do (exactly) what recipes tell me to do.
Hoodrat, I know.
Not my picture, but that’s how they looked. I swear!
There’s espresso powder in them, along with cocoa powder, obviously, so they taste good by themselves. but even better with coffee.
Trust me. My friends liked them. Too much…
Isn’t that a music genre?
(plain and cinnamon-sugar)
Same musical genre here, but featuring different artists.
Here we have the new single by The Bagels, featuring plain, cinnamon-sugar, poppy seed, sesame seed, minced onion, and minced garlic.
Tasty new jams, good with jam.
Post-boil, post-bake, pre-eating.
I used the same parchment paper that I used to bake the biscotti. The Environmental Justice Friends would be proud of me, but Smoky the Bear wouldn’t.
Almost caught fire.
I love homemade bagels, and I could see myself baking these bad boys when I’m older and looking for something to do besides find new tennis balls for my walker.
Or I could change my last name to Steinberg, open a bagel deli, make millions, and buy a lot throw-pillows.
Hands down: the dopest dope you’ve ever smoked. Hands down, dopest dope.